Nurse Sunshine

Halloween's around the corner...

2009-09-06T16:42:00.002-05:00

It doesn't get better than this folks! Silly symphonies from 1929:

Nacho's gonna look so good!

2009-08-31T16:13:00.003-05:00

I finished! This is the baby hat I made for Nichole, Brian, and little Nacho. Or, Nacho Little.

The question is: Do I add little black "seeds" to make it look like a strawberry or do I leave it as is? Any suggestions?

Who you gonna call?

2009-08-03T14:24:00.002-05:00

If this was ever actually made, I would love it so hard. The exact same plot line as the 1984 version but 30 years earlier. Complete with a state puff marshmallow man! And Bob Hope! Jerry Lewis! Dean Martin! WTF?

If only it were real.

first thing to make me laugh today

2009-07-03T14:30:00.000-05:00

Uppers and Downers

2009-05-23T12:01:00.003-05:00

This cartoon is fantastic!

And this is how I feel sometimes:
I can't stop thinking about caps lately. Bottle caps. Jar lids. I mean even when I switched to buying milk in glass bottles that get washed and reused (okay I just did that yesterday), the caps are still thrown away. And every time I throw away a cap I think of this video and Charles Moore:

mo' bloggin noggin

2009-05-20T19:25:00.005-05:00

Hey folks! So for those who aren't reading it yet, we've got a meat blog going on!

Many Meals of Mitch's Meat!

The gist is a bunch of us bought a third of a cow from Mitch's dad, divvied it up, and are now documenting the tasty creations we make from it. It's good fun. Check us out!

In other news, I may be even closer to getting off night shifts! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!! See, as of right now I work days and nights at the hospital which, to put it frankly, sucks butt. The problem is that I cannot move from my shift until (a) some other new grad sap takes my place on nights and (b) some senior-ranking nurse decides she doesn't want her sweet, sleep-at-night-like-a-normal-person shift. This is made even more difficult by our hiring freeze that is extending until God only knows when.

The sun may be shining a little brighter though because for some strange reason we DID hire one new grad (who happens to be Michelle, who is friends of friends of Julia) who is taking a straight nights position. This didn't really mean a whole lot until I found out last night that our favorite Nurse Marcia is now retiring! We will definitely miss her. She has worked on 7C since 1986! She has more knowledge about our patients and how to care for them than I can even fathom. She also holds a day/evening position. So while I'm sad to see her go, I'm also hoping I can switch to a work schedule that is less taxing on my psyche. The only thing to figure out is if this will indeed open something up for us new grads that hate working nights and which one of us will have the most seniority to be the lucky nurse. Cross your fingers for me people!

And I will close out this blog with a fantastic cartoon from the This American Life live broadcast I saw last month. It's about a mouse that falls in love with a severed cat head. Holy cow that was an amazing show! If you weren't able to go, let this give you a sneak peak and a strong desire to not miss it next year... (yes, I may be speaking directly to Phil and Sam here)

Quimby The Mouse from This American Life on Vimeo.

TUB INVASION!!!!!

2009-04-30T20:55:00.001-05:00

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

little kids and patients, a rant.

2009-03-30T16:11:00.004-05:00

Why do you have to hack all over me?

Okay, maybe not all children and not all patients, but the frequency is high that I get coughed on.

For the kids part, I know of at least 3 little girls that think it is funny to cough on me. They know they shouldn't. I can see it in their eyes! It is like a dare. "Whatcha gonna do, babysitter/sister? I just did something naughty!" Cough cough, spit spit. There has to be a better way to vie for my attention or try to get into trouble. My immune system isn't made of steel!

As for the patients, I know that adults know when to cover their mouths. You would think they would do it even more often seeing as how they are sick and in the hospital. But something about being a patient makes some adults turn into complete babies. Is it so hard to raise a hand to cover a mouth? They stop being able to do things for themselves and they stop having common sense and courtesy when it comes to getting their bodily fluids (be they from their mouths, noses, or other more undesirable places) on other people. Especially other people that happen to be nurses and nurse's aides. It is like they have reverted back to childhood and feel they can treat us like their mom's. And by that I mean treat us like their personal snot rags. I cannot tell you how many times I've been leaning over a patient, listening to their heart and lung sounds, my face a mere foot from theirs, when they start forcefully coughing on my cheek. The next step would probably be to slyly wipe their boogers on my shoulder. (Um, sorry mom, I thought I was being oh so sneaky.)

In these situations all I want to do is shout:

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
GROSS!!!!!
KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!

New Stitch and Bitch Anthem?

2009-03-09T23:37:00.002-05:00

Move over FOTC. Make some room for Leslie Hall.

I cherish these moments ladies!

Oh little muffin...

2009-02-11T23:48:00.002-06:00

Little confused muffin.

I'm sorry. This is just for my benefit really. So I don't have to look it up every time I want to watch it...

2009-02-11T23:42:00.001-06:00

My gmail just gave me an advertisement about how to get rid of my puffy eyes.

I did not write an email about having puffy eyes.

How does gmail know I have puffy eyes?!?!

A-list

2009-02-09T07:54:00.004-06:00

Seven things that make me so very happy:

Coming home from a night shift knowing I only have one more night to go before I can see the sun.
Fixin' to Die - Bob Dylan.
Bicycling home at 7:30am, kind of crazed, about to be drop dead tired, and being able to breathe so deeply the fresh and not painfully freezing air. Man that air tastes fantastic.
Traffic - Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapels
Franklin Avenue, all your pot holes and cracks are showing!
My comfy bed and my purring cat on my shoulder.
THUNDERSTORMS! Randy, the secretary on my unit, said there would be thunderstorms today. I'm holding him to it. I want to be woken up by thunder and rain! Woo Hoo spring that isn't really spring but feels like spring!

Good night nine to fivers!

From the people that brought you the fantastic drumming ape...

2009-02-01T13:29:00.001-06:00

(and thanks Julia!)

I'm a little bit in love with this man.

2009-02-01T10:15:00.000-06:00

transmutation, from Julia

2009-01-30T14:04:00.004-06:00

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the 1st 30 songs no matter how embarrassing
Step 3: Strike through once someone guesses both the artist and the track correctly. (or just change the color since I'm not that computer savvy)
Step 4: For those who are guessing, looking up the lyrics is CHEATING.

Our eyes meet all the time, your eyes permanent in mine.
Bewildered, lost in the dream of you, where is the love I knew, why did we part.
Hello lord, it's me again, I just wanna make to love the whole globe and all her girlfriends.
Johanna drove slowly into the city, the Hudson River all filled with snow
I, I know what it means. And I, I know what it means.
Punk is dead, punk is dead, yes that's right punk is dead.
Bill Barret has a simple dream, he calls it his plan B.
Lord Almighty I feel my temperature rising, higher higher it's burning through to my soul.
I have a tale to tell, sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well.
All I want in life is a little bit of love to take the pain away, getting strong today.
One Two Three Uh, My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know fo' sho'
Rambling out of the wild west, leaving the towns I love the best.
I'm bad bad as Leroy Brown brown I'm a pro pro pro but not a noun noun.
We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when.
hot milk, mmm tweak my nipple, champagne and ripple, shamans go cripple.
This is the first day of my life, swear I was born right in the doorway.
Sometimes I dream about reality, sometimes I feel so gone.
We like the boys with the bullet proof vests, we like the girls with the cellophane chests.
Let me tell you about a place, somewhere up in New York ways.
Take down the walls you see before you, just so the crowd cannot ignore you.
Love and hope and sex and dreams are still surviving on the street, look at me I'm in tatters!
You have the upper hand to open up the door.
The mic gets plugged in, I get sucked in, introduction, then crush the function.
Mama take this badge from me, I can't use it anymore.
I never tried to pretend to have an accent that I never had, so why don't you stay away awhile come hear the freestyle.
Mama take this badge off of me, I can't use it anymore. (AH! Same song as #24, different artist!)
It's been 7 hours and 13 days since you took your love away.
From the weave to the fake eyes to the fake nails down to the toes, ha ha ha ha ha!
Don't they love you in mysterious ways, you say yeah but this is now and that was then.
"There must be some way out of here" said the joker to the thief.

This is the blog where I steal from the slog

2008-11-17T19:13:00.004-06:00

But maybe you guys haven't read slog today. And maybe this is just too funny to let slide...

First: It is a sad day to be a poodle. Oh wait, that might be everyday. Especially for "Cindy."

And second: The old, white, and religious do hip hop? Oh yes they do...

*PS. you should visit slog everyday!
*PPS. I apologize for the very disturbing ending to that video.

I must be sick in the head

2008-10-23T08:31:00.003-05:00

I got the chance to sleep in today because I am going to a workshop that starts at 9 instead of to work that starts at 7. Do I use that time to sleep in and have a relaxing morning? No. I get up at 7 anyways and do aerobics! Before coffee!

I suppose that is still sleeping in a little.

Rise and shine!

What's a man? Who's a man? Am I a man?

2008-10-14T17:21:00.019-05:00

A LIST

I submit this picture to the CFT catalog as most manly: For some reason Sam wasn't as into my stache as I was. Quite frankly I have NO idea why. OK, maybe it could be more realistic. But still...
I made spicy tofu dip. I had waited just long enough so that my carrots were way too soft so I tried it with green bell peppers instead. Still delicious!
I'm making progress on my beard/mustache ski mask!!! Since taking this picture, I have reunited the sides and am about to start the beard. The part that goes right below my lips looks a little weird, but that is just because I wasn't sure how to do a cable cast on. Oh well. It will probably get kinda stretched there anyways.
On the unit we have a social worker, named Madonna, that brings in a tiny little dog to give pet therapy to the patients. The poor thing is always dressed up as something different - usually holiday or career related. It even has its own website! This one might be my favorite: Help it!!! It is drowning in clouds!!!! Ahhhhhh. (Oh yeah, and the other social worker? Yeah her name is Babette. Spelled Babbette perhaps? I don't know. But it is not pronounced "babe"-ette.)
Some gentle readers may remember such culinary creations as my "Sam's Tamale Pie." I just found my last slice of it forgotten at the back of my fridge. Does anyone know how long baked meat and veggies and cheese lasts? Or how about the cornbread-like topping? I want to eat it. It is calling my name! But it might hurt me.
Also, I made friends with this super cute kitty that seemed homeless but turned out to be the property of my annoying and negligent neighbor boys. (An update: Their piano and couches and wheelchair and random garbage are all still sitting out in their backyard getting wet and crappy. Since August 31st when they moved in.)
And finally, a little yoga for you all. I'm all about camel pose right now. Currently, I do it something sort of like this: But my hot yoga teacher seems to think I can totally do it like this: OUCH! I'm excited though. I guess this variation on the pose is also good practice for getting into wheel pose from a standing position. Ooooh. practice practice practice.

THE END

me? a night owl?

2008-10-14T05:10:00.002-05:00

I am finding it very hard to believe that I have a measly 2 hours and a few minutes left of my first ever night shift. I'm not even that tired! A little groggy maybe, kind of quiet, but definitely able to keep my eyes open and my senses about me. My eyes aren't even looking the slightest bit ptotic! I'm happy that this whole night shift thing doesn't seem as bad as I had once imagined.

Oh. And the best part? I haven't even had any coffee! Wha-a-a-a??? Yep, I've become some sort of weird super nurse who stays awake just from the sheer thought of being needed by sad cancer patients. Who knew?

ahem

2008-10-09T15:00:00.000-05:00

(thanks Julia)

Mis blochachos,

2008-10-07T15:11:00.002-05:00

Could this be my favorite song ever?

Yes. Yes it very well could.

*PS - I posted this blog and then went to the eye doctor and I kid you not, he looks EXACTLY like the one in the pink blouse/orange T-shirt. Oh except his hair is a little curlier. HOTT. So I imagined him singing this to me while he was making sure I can see properly enough to drive in the dark.

Oh Sarah, you came and you baked me a turkey...

2008-10-01T17:42:00.001-05:00

The B.F. sent this to me and I thought everyone should enjoy...

crotchety

2008-10-01T10:11:00.007-05:00

I just heard on NPR that the youth vote is all about Obama. I thought, "go us!" Then they stated that the youth vote is for those 18-26 years old. Damn. I guess I've been booted from that group. Someone coulda filled me in on that a couple years ago! Thanks jerks.

Gyn Onc Hai Ku, part 1

2008-09-15T22:02:00.002-05:00

He says, "wear a mask."
"And don't forget the goggles."
Poop-barf flies in mouth.

oh ya!

2008-08-29T18:03:00.005-05:00

Never again will I wonder or have to ask just how Minnesotan I sound. My biggest fear is that I come across like the 2 prostitutes in Fargo. Oh god a shiver runs down my spine. Then again, I hope to grow up some day to be just like the Frances McDormand character. So, really, I want to be Minnesotan ha ha, not Minnesotan obnoxious. Does that even make sense?

Regardless, I can now rest easy because I know exactly how Minnesotan I sound:

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I'd have to say 20% is a respectable amount. I'm quite pleased really. I may start toning it up while I'm nursing though - mainly because some of the nurses I work with who have the thickest accents crack me up to no end. I love it!

So. How Minnesotan are you? (And these are fightin' words, little lady.)

Can you say that 3 times fast?

2008-08-12T16:32:00.009-05:00

PTOSIS:

EXOPHTHALMOS:

PTOSIS:

EXOPHTHALMOS:

PTOSIS:

EXOPHTHALMOS:

PTOSIS:

EXOPHTHALMOS:

PTOSIS:

Need I Say More?

2008-07-15T23:53:00.002-05:00

Am I really living alone?

2008-07-02T01:07:00.000-05:00

I am lost in a very large pile of boxes and hangers.

I cannot sleep. Part nerves (there are strange noises that sound scary) part excited (because figuring out where to put my chair is oh so exciting).

I am surrounded by loving lesbians. 2 upstairs, 5 next door. (At least, they seem like lesbians. I could be wrong.) So really there is no reason to be afraid.

And my grandpa made me take a weird short golf club. Why? To bash in the heads of unwanted intruders of course. Thanks grandpa.

News that matters?

2008-06-18T17:07:00.002-05:00

A few short minutes ago Cate informed Phil and I of the news on news she had just listened to ... regarding the media coverage (or lack there of) on John McCain's use of the word cunt. Towards his wife.

WTF?

I agree with Phil's assessment of this as proof of gender bias in the media.

Here is the clip Cate heard, from "On The Media:"

And after doing a little MORE research I realize I am a little behind the times...
Thank Jebus good old Feministing isn't!

But it does compliment Phil's point quite nicely, don't you think?

PS. I apologize for all the dirty swears lately. I'll clean it right up for the next post.

AAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

2008-06-16T21:26:00.002-05:00

I'M SO NERVOUS FOR THE STATE BOARDS!!!!!!

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO STRESSFUL? WHY?

The Modern Chastity Belt?

2008-06-15T19:15:00.003-05:00

For those that are nerdier (or at least as nerdy) as I, you may have already heard the news.

I learned of these FABU butt statements from the ever popular "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me" podcast from the 8th. I know, I am a little late on the listening, but I was on an Ozark vacation! (which will be the subject of another blog once I get my pictures back)

Apparently, these abstinence pants are being sold at K-Mart. More has been said about these sweats on such blogs as Feministing: "because nothing says 'I plan not to have sex until marriage' like plastering text across your ass," and The Buzz Blog.

I'M BACK!

2008-05-21T12:29:00.007-05:00

My laptop and I are back to bff town. Woot woot! I only hope we will last longer than a few months which is how long it has lasted after past fixes.

Lauren! I will try to figure out this skype (sp?) thing soon so we can talk more regularly.

And in recent news...

I GRADUATED!!!! (I am such a dork.)

I'M FREE!!!!

In other news, I was listening to the current today when (I believe it was) Barb Abney introduced The Heavy by mentioning that they would be on Fuel TV either tonight or tomorrow night or something like that. Fuel TV?!? Really? Is that a thing now? I am only aware of this channel from, I'm sure you've already guessed it, Jordan Jesse Go! - because Jordan works for them. This has lead me to wonder how many people actually listen to JJGO? How many really watch Fuel TV? And how many savvy Minnesota Current listeners watch Fuel TV because of JJGO? Enough to be mentioned on air? Am I just ridiculously out of touch with popular reality?

Probably.

PS. How come Nick gets mom's hair and I don't? So not fair.

16 hours and too much poop makes mo something something...

2008-03-16T21:03:00.004-05:00

Time.

Has come.

To.

An.

Agonizing.

Halt.

Oh sweet jebus. I will grow old and die (childless god damn you) before this shift ever ends.

Elvis Presley has left the building... of proteins behind...

2008-03-08T19:27:00.007-06:00

Now, I am pretty sure all those that read this blog know of my love for Elvis. You may not know of my new found love for (comedic musicians/music comedians?) Hard 'N Phirm. They are my kind of men. In the fantastic video below, they touch on so many things that I cherish. And in the style of Jesse Thorn, a keep it up Hard 'N Phirm list:

animated and personified body parts. I have been known to imagine what each cell in my body would look like if it were an autonomous being. (When imagining this, each cell is usually grinning and bouncing spastically.) And yup, they look just like the red blood cells in this video. AMAZING! Who knew Hard 'N Phirm could read my mind! Keep it up animated and personified body parts.
Bacon. Bacon that stares angrily with bubble eyes. Bacon, are you mad because you helped to kill Elvis? Do not fret, I will still eat you. Keep it up angry bacon.
The word aspirate. I love that word! Keep it up aspiration.
Gross stuff. When the amino acids "break it down" - the bubbly sounds, the visual of decomposing fruit and, for some strange reason, pigs? I love it. Keep it up decomposing gross stuff!
I also think it is funny that they show the King's red blood cells hooking up with oxygen from the renal arteries. That is not where that happens! Keep it up inaccurate animated physiology and anatomy.
PUNS! Need I say more? Keep it up humorous puns. (especially those of the P & A variety - see post title)

It isn't viva in Las Vegas anymore.

Nursing and Technology

2008-02-29T12:50:00.006-06:00

First gentle readers, I'd like you all to listen to this music video while reading my newest ethics post.

This is mainly because this damn song played in my head throughout the entire class last week. Is it stuck in your heads yet?

I've been thinking about this post for a while now and I am finding it really hard to write. My first impulse is to say that I don't care about technology or how it might affect my career. Maybe it is closer to the truth to say that I don't find it that interesting and hope that it will not affect my career in ways that I have yet to understand. Of course I want the increased efficiency and continuity of care that comes with electronic charting, but before listening to last week's ethics lecture, I never really thought about what is lost due to increased technology. When we chart electronically now, our words are chosen for us, we simply click the box that best fits what we see. What happens when our assessments do not fit into one of the chosen boxes? There is a small place at the end of the chart where we can add a comment, but how many nurses take the time to do this? How many nurses on future shifts take the time to read this?

When I think about all of this, a great quote comes to mind. Cate showed it to me. (OK, she also blogged about it - in case it looks familiar.) It was used in one of her grad school books - "Educational Action Research: Becoming Practically Critical," by Susan E. Noffke. While the quote was used for a book about education, I think it can just as easily apply to nursing.

"I am done with great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I am for those tiny, invisible loving human forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, yet which, if given time, will rend the hardest monuments of human pride." - William James

This has everything to do with what I think of as nursing. This has nothing to do with technology.

While writing this, I am also reminded of one of the nurses I work with on the Blood and Marrow Transplant unit. She has immigrated here from Liberia. If you have payed any attention to the Strib's coverage of the Liberian immigrant issues here in Minnesota, you might recognize her because her family has been the focus of a few articles. As I know her on our unit, she is a great nurse. I believe she has been working on the unit for over 20 years. She knows more than I can currently comprehend about our highest acuity patients. Yet she is still trying to gain citizenship to the United States. Just last week we were in the break room and I noticed she was studying for her upcoming citizenship exam. She told me she had failed her first attempt because it was computerized and since she has never really learned how to type, she cannot complete the exam within the mandatory time limits. Would it be allowed, she could easily take a written format, but since everything must be standardized and electronically graded, she finds herself still waiting for citizenship and unsure of her future in this country. How is this helping?

OK, one more time, but specifically, just the technology part:

Awwwww yeah.

If you're feeling sad and lonely, there's a service I can render...

2008-02-27T08:05:00.002-06:00

No, don't call me, rock out in your bedroom to this:

OK well, maybe you can call me too.

Is anyone feeling the need for a dance party? My place? Next weekend? Eh?

Trust the Nurse

2008-02-20T22:51:00.003-06:00

Last week instead of the usual ethics class we were offered a chance to see a dramatic reading of the play Miss Evers’ Boys. The play was presented by the U of M’s medical school, the Center for Arts and Medicine, and the Guthrie Theater. It was performed in one of the big med school auditoriums is the Phillips-Wangensteen building. Do you know the ones I am talking about? With the vertical wood slats on every wall making it look very 1970s and cozy? The audience consisted of nursing and med students, a few faculty, and interestingly, some folks from MPR’s All Things Considered! I have yet to look for it, but apparently they covered the event and included some interviews from students. Sadly, I declined an interview out of shyness. That could have been my 15 minutes!

In case you are unaware of the play, Miss Evers’ Boys tells the inexcusable story of The Tuskegee Experiment. It focuses on the lives of the men in Macon County, Alabama who were recruited by a Nurse Evers to participate in the study of untreated syphilis on African-American men. What makes this play so important for future health care professionals, especially nurses, is not only the ethical issues surrounding honesty or human subjects but the trust that these men put into Miss Evers. They believed in her as a nurse to have their best interest in mind. The story tells the progression they made, the men not realizing the truth of their involvement in the study, the nurse slowly realizing how integral a part she played in keeping the men in a study that was not in their best interest.

Afterwards, a question was posed by the actors – could this story, this study, happen today? The responses from the crowd (along with my own sentiments) went something like this: The inherently unequal administration of heath care has not changed but has instead become global. We might like to think that we, as a culture, are above this sort of thing now. It was only in 1997 that President Bill Clinton finally made an official apology to the men misused by the study. The fact is that the valuing of certain lives over others has not changed. The reason why we do not see such atrocities here in the US is because these affairs are now conducted in other countries, on people we do not generally know about. When a country does not have the legal framework to regulate research, what ethical guidelines or fundamental human rights are scientists or companies to be held to?

How different is Uganda from Tuskegee?

It is not a matter of if or when, but where it is happening now. Who do we value more than others? What does care mean for the patient? As future nurses we need to address our own assumptions and prejudices. The more we can communicate on a human level – talk from one human to another instead of from a position of authority - the harder it will be for us to see people as means to an end. This is where the unique position of a nurse fits in really well. I believe that nursing is inherently on the human level, on the patient’s side, helping the patient navigate and live through their experience in the medical world and come through it still a whole person.

There are so many subtle choices. How can you give the best care?

worka worka worka!

2008-02-19T10:36:00.004-06:00

This is what I've been up to instead of writing my papers:

Listening to the newest Savage Love Podcast - Dan gives a stern warning to all fag hag havees by comparing having a fag hag to owning a dog. Hilarious!

I found this nugget on nontalk.com (who also links to Dinosaur Comics, Julia!):

I can only hope that my paranoid schizophrenic patients never actually see this video. Some already think that the TV is talking directly to them. All hope would be lost.

I also started knitting my mustache/beard hat:
(ehhhh...I tried to take a picture of it on my cat's head, but my crappy camera has apparently died. Boo. Urns.)
Thank you Rachel and Katie for helping me figure out the crazy instructions. So far, it doesn't fit my head yet. Hopefully I will finish it before it warms up.

I've also been IM'ing with Anisa about our easy classes and how they make it sooooo much harder to combat senioritis procrastination. Thank you Anisa, for helping me to not get any real work done. I could do it without you, but it would be way less interesting.

*On a side note to all my gentle readers, the recent blogs about my ethics class are actually for my ethics class. So if they seem out of left field or kind of boring, I'm getting a grade for it folks.

Take Back The Loser!

2008-02-15T11:06:00.005-06:00

I am reposting this poster design from Feministing.

Even though I am sure all of you read that blog daily, I guess it is possible you might have missed this funny response to some anti-feminist BS brought to you by the Independent Women's Forum. You know, with a name like Independent Women's Forum, you would think they'd be cool. For shame.

The Homeless Experience

2008-02-12T19:04:00.013-06:00

Last week's ethics class was guest lectured by David Schultz who works in the Adult Mental Health Division of DHS. He was a great speaker - engaging and funny. I like how he gave us his standpoint before lecturing to us - that during the Vietnam War, he was a conscientious objector, but that he firmly believes in each citizen giving a few years of their time for their country. For Schultz, this time was spent on the streets, homeless. He worked closely with Catholic Charities and spent two years on the streets getting to know people, trying to help them, and in the end, learning a lot about survival and what it means to be alive and live in poverty.

Schultz's lecture was given on Ash Wednesday. Many of my fellow nursing students were already donning the dark grey crosses on their foreheads. It was interesting to see these students warm to him based on their common faiths. The tone of the room quickly changed though when he began to ask us how we interact with homeless people. Specifically, he asked us whether we always, sometimes, or never give money to panhandlers. Then he asked us why. There were a variety of responses. Those that said they never give generally gave the reason that they were too broke themselves. Those that said they only sometimes give explained that they didn't want to support drug or alcohol habits, they didn't always have cash on hand, or they feared being robbed. Overarchingly though, most people's responses were defensive and angry. People who once felt a kinship towards Schultz now felt attacked by him. It is amazing how powerful one simple question can be. By asking us this, Schultz forced us to address our own unstated prejudices about the homeless population.

So I turn this question to you, gentle readers. Do you give to homeless people asking for money, food, or work? And why or why not?

As for myself, I would say that I generally do. There have been exceptions, for example, when the person asking for money could not keep their balance and smelled strongly of alcohol. At that time, I thought to myself, what good could my charity be for this person right now? In this state, do they really need more alcohol? Thinking about this, I realize my own prejudices. Who is to say the person will use my money for alcohol? Should it matter? I generally feel that when I do give money, whatever the person spends it on is what they feel that they need at that time and it is not for me to judge. So why do I make the exception when they are intoxicated?

After I got home from this class, I talked about the lecture with Cate. She brought to my attention another blog that dealt with this exact same topic. In the post from Nothing But Bonfires, the blogger describes (in a less than sensitive way) an encounter she had with a homeless woman in the entryway of her apartment building. What she did not expect was the rash of comments left by readers who were appalled by her derogatory descriptions of the homeless woman. In response, the blogger left this post. While in her first post, the blogger did use the offensive rhetoric of "crack whore," she attempted to redeem herself in her second post by acknowledging something Schultz also emphasized - that the worst thing a person/group of people can do to another person/group of people is to not recognize their existence.

sci fi meets nursing

2008-02-05T15:59:00.000-06:00

My ethics class last week covered the topic of genetics. Our guest speaker was Jeff Kahn, director and professor of the Center for Bioethics at the U of M. Cate pointed out that the book Better Than Well, which I have been 1/2 way through reading for over a year now, was written by Carl Elliott who also works in the Center for Bioethics. I wonder how well they know each other. Are they friends? Ooh, Elliott does mention Kahn in his acknowledgements section. I can only imagine the great conversations they must have.

So just two days prior to this lecture, I watched The Boys from Brazil – a movie made in 1978 starring Gregory Peck, Sir Laurence Olivier, and… wait for it… Steve Guttenberg! (A very young and strapping Steve Guttenberg, I might add.) This movie totally set the tone for the lecture for me. If you haven't seen it and don't want me to ruin it for you, stop reading. But it is basically about Dr. Mengele (Gregory Peck), a nazi, who figures out how to clone humans. He had a creepy research lab in Paraguay (for some reason, not Brazil) where he impregnated a bunch of women with little baby Hitler clones.

At one point in the movie, a university scientist explains the cloning process. What it boils down to is that you take an egg, remove its inside bits, and replace them with a cell from whomever you want to clone. In this case, it was some old blood from Hitler. A picture of this process looked like this:

Maybe I would have been more easily frightened by the scary, sci fi cloning part of this movie if I had watched it in 1978. Now that cloning is a real possibility, the movie takes on a completely different tone.

In a recent Midmorning show on MPR, Kahn briefly talked about cloning. The surrounding topic was in regards to research that claims that it is possible to make a stem cell from an ordinary cell, such as a skin cell. This stem cell can then be turned into any other kind of cell you want to grow it into. Theoretically, it would also be possible to create a human embryo by these means. This clone would have the same potential as a naturally fertilized egg. Kahn points out that we have yet to see cloning used to make a human baby. Human cloning is actually illegal in most countries. Interestingly, it is not in the US.

In his lecture to my class, Kahn spoke about the ethical implications of genetic testing and in-vitro fertilization. For a visual aide, Kahn showed us this slide:

This picture is an example of what pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) entails. Doesn't it look creepily like the Hitler cloning pic? Eh?

In PGD, an embryo is created using in-vitro fertilization. After about 2 or 3 days, when the embryo consists of 8 cells, a biopsy is performed (as shown above). The DNA from the one cell that is removed can then be tested for various genetic diseases.

As an example of PGD, Kahn brought up the case of the Nash family. For anyone who has read Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper, the book is based on the Nash case and delves into the ethics of PGD and how it affects the interpersonal relationships of the family members.

The Nash's first child was born with Fanconi Anemia. This disease is genetically recessive and both the Nash parents have one recessive gene. Children with this disease are born with dysmorphologies (such as having no thumbs or incomplete guts), reduced IQs, and are likely to get leukemia by around age 6. The Nash child did get leukemia and needed a stem cell transplant to survive. Unfortunately, there were no matching donors. The Nash's knew they wanted another child and instead of using PGD for the sole purpose of ensuring their next child did not have Fanconi Anemia, they also wanted to use it to select an embryo that would be an exact immune match for their older daughter. In this way, the Nash's could have a healthy second child that would also save the life of their first child.

The questions that must then be asked are:

1. Is this ethical? The Nash's did not manipulate genetics but rather selected one embryo over another for specific traits. Should traits be selected purely to avoid disease or may non-disease traits also play a part? In the Nash case, they did both.

2. Why does this case matter? We do not ask people why they choose to have kids. Should we be allowed to ask the Nash's?

3. What role do nurses play in such bioethical issues? In my opinion, one role of the nurse (in any situation) is to educate and inform people. The people in question can be patients, family members of patients, or the general public. In any of these cases, it is the nurse's job to make sure the person fully understands the issue at hand so they can make their own informed decisions based on solid, non-biased information as well as their own ethical standards. Complicated genetic testing and treatments need to be put into a language that anyone can comprehend. Moreover a nonjudgmental space needs to be created so that ethical implications can be openly discussed. Situations can become complicated however when a nurse's personal moral code conflicts with the interests of the patient. What modalities do we have to lean on when confronted with our internal ethical debates?

Super Bowl BMT style

2008-02-03T21:26:00.000-06:00

This is what I've gotten out of the super bowl tonight working on the Blood and Marrow Transplant Unit:

Patient #1: "No no, watch this, watch this! I know you don't care, but humor me. He caught the ball by holding it to his helmet! His helmet!!! Can you believe that? Oh wow, his back must really hurt."

Patient #2 (regarding a commercial): "Oh god! He has those hooked to his nipples! Check that out! Oh god!"

Jenna, the secretary (aka Jenn-graf, aka Jenna-talia): "The Patriots are cheaters! Did you know that the Patriots were only good this year because they stole all the other teams' play lists? Yeah, cheaters."

Patient #3: "Oh man, oh man. Oh wow. Oh that was good. Oh. Oh man." (I then asked if he was rooting for NY) His response: "Oh man, that was so good. Oh yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow."

Nurse Joy: "Super bowl Sundays are known for sharp increases in domestic violence. I've seen it. Men just get out of control."

I feel like I've learned so much about football.

I couldn't be happier

2008-02-03T00:00:00.000-06:00

I can officially say I bike in the winter! I am hooked! My ovaries must be made of a strong, reliable, yet adaptable ore substance! YES!

Best Dream Ever

2008-02-02T13:06:00.001-06:00

I dreamt last night that I was dating a giant. By giant, I mean HUGE - 8 or 9 feet tall, head the size of my exercise ball. It was fun because he always carried me on his shoulders. Sometimes he would spin me around until I got very dizzy.

The stories we tell...

2008-01-30T22:53:00.000-06:00

Holy hell it is cold! I imagine this is the type of weather that Phil's friend had in mind when talking about exploding trees. See Phil's blog (The Lonely Wolf) if you want the whole story. It is a great read if I do say so myself - so familiar it is comforting.

This weather had made me resourceful. For the most part, I wear the same layers of long underwear, wool socks, and hat almost every day and sometimes at night too. Since Nichole always drives to school, I do not resist her offers to pick me up. Heck, by the time she gets to my place, her car is already toasty. Aside from the walk from my house to her car, there is only the briefest of moments when I am actually outside. I can go from the parking ramp, to the hospital, and to the 3 different buildings where my classes are held all through an elaborate tunnel system. It is AWESOME and it is also depressing. I like that I never have to get cold. The tunnel system is also very indirect so I can pretend that I am getting a workout by going to the coffee shop on a break. The main problem is that I am in the basement or sub-basement of buildings for 8 hours. I feel like a mole. And when I stare at my face in the fluorescent light of the cold bathrooms, I imagine myself becoming more and more pasty skinned. I long for spring!

And so too, I imagine, does this little girl:

Nichole and I were walking through the tunnel between the Visitor-Patient parking ramp and the medical complex at the U when we overheard a mom talking to her 3 year old daughter. They were getting ready to find their car.

The mom, in a whiny, baby voice says: Let's zip your coat. Do you want to know how cold it is?
The small child mumbled something as her mom bundled her up.
The mom then says, in the same voice: It is so cold that if you don't wear your mittens your fingernails will fall off.

Now when I was a child, I had a vivid imagination. I also believed everything my mother ever said to me. If I was this kid, I'd be terrified! Fingernails falling off?!? AH!

My men troubles.

2008-01-21T10:45:00.000-06:00

I have been reading the first volume of Endgame: The Problem of Civilization, by Derrick Jensen, and I keep finding myself wanting to quote it at length to people. I think that is a sign I really like the book. In this book as well as in others, Jensen makes comparisons between our abusive culture and abusive personal relationships. It is funny how pieces of wisdom or clarity will sometimes present themselves to people at the most opportune times, when we are most able to hear them. At least this is how I feel about a passage from the "Love Does Not Imply Pacifism" chapter.

Jensen quotes R. D. Laing:

"If Jack succeeds in forgetting something [such as the fact that we have the responsibility - the obligation - to stop the horrors of civilization, and the ability to do so, if we choose to], this is of little use if Jill continues to remind him of it. He must induce her not to do so. The safest way would be not just to make her keep quiet about it, but to induce her to forget it also.

"Jack may act upon Jill in many ways. He may make her feel guilty for keeping on 'bringing it up.' He may invalidate her experience. This can be done more or less radically. He can indicate merely that it is unimportant or trivial, whereas it is important and significant to her. Going further, he can shift the modality of her experience from memory to imagination: 'It's all in your imagination.' Further still, he can invalidate the content: 'It never happened that way.' Finally, he can invalidate not only the significance, modality, and content, but her very capacity to remember at all, and make her feel guilty for doing so in the bargain.

"This is not unusual. People are doing such things to each other all the time. In order for such transpersonal invalidation to work, however, it is advisable to overlay it with a thick patina of mystification. For instance, by denying that this is what one is doing, and further invalidating any perception that it is being done by ascriptions of 'How can you think such a thing?' 'You must be paranoid.' And so on"

For me, this brings up memories of feeling very confused in my romantic relationships. It also reminds me of statements men have said to me such as "You must be really insecure," and "That never happened," or "I never said that." I've often felt like I've been in relationships where one of us must be insane simply because our stated realities were so different. I could not understand how someone could either lie that blatantly or perceive the world that differently.

Jensen goes on to write about how some people perceive the desire to stop offenses or cruelties (such as the poisoning of our planet) as a manifestation of a need for control:

I used to have this fear, too, that to affect another's behavior - even when that other is hurting me directly - is to be 'controlling.' But to believe this is to internalize the rhetoric and worldview of the abuser.

Years ago, if you recall, I was in a couple of emotionally abusive relationships, where the women would call me names, harangue me for days, and so on. When I'd ask them to stop they'd say I was trying to censor or control them.

Finally, a friend asked me, "What will it take for you to say 'Fuck you' to this woman and walk away?"

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"That would be rude."

"She's not being rude to you?"

"I don't want to put myself on the same level. I don't want to cross some sort of middle line between us. I can talk about things on my half..."

"Ah, you've been to counseling! You can say, 'When you call me names, it makes me feel bad,' but you can't say, 'Cut this shit out!' then hang up the phone..."

"Hanging up on someone is unacceptable."

"So it's okay for her to perpetrate unacceptable behavior on you, but you aren't allowed to call her on it, nor even to absent yourself? That's crazy."

I opened my mouth to say something, then shut it, then opened it again, then clamped it shut.

That very night the woman called and began haranguing me. I said "Fuck you!" and hung up the phone. (Unfortunately, and this reveals how stupid denial makes us, it took me quite a while longer to figure out that after hanging up on her I didn't have to answer when she called back! It didn't take much longer than that, though, for me to realize that not only did I not need to answer the phone, I could simply not allow anyone to harangue me. If the do, I kick them out of my life. What a concept!)

When reading these passages, as well as many others in this book, I felt like Jensen was writing directly to me. Or maybe even about me. Is this really a common experience as Laing suggests? Often times in relationships when I would experience this I felt like I was just not expressing myself well enough, that if I could better explain how some action made me feel then the person could acknowledge it and make amends, or, I would hope, that they would stop doing what was making me feel bad. I didn't understand why that never worked. Actually removing myself from the situation or relationship (most times) never occurred to me.

This also causes me to look at the relationship people have with civilization and how it is tied to our personal relationships. Maybe this type of dysfunction and unhappiness in personal relationships is so common because we have never addressed our overbearing relationship with our civilization. I think a critical awareness of these experiences and relationships can help me to not get stuck in the familiar routine of confusion and unhappiness.

oh these men...

2008-01-20T23:54:00.000-06:00

This week's Real Time with Bill Maher featured everyone's favorite sex advisor talking about his trip down to South Carolina to interview Huckabee supporters.

How can you not love Dan Savage?

LARRY SISTERMAN!!!

2008-01-15T23:10:00.000-06:00

My old buddy made it big! He is Upset Stomach!

I blogged it, so it must be true!

2008-01-09T09:12:00.001-06:00

My new year's resolutions, starting the day (after for the crappy shot) of my 28th year:

NO MORE SHOTS!!! I just can't do it folks. My body refuses. Ew.
No more pop. Diet Coke does call to me once in a while, but NO! My ethics refuse.
No more fast food. This isn't going to be too hard, but I realized that it becomes way more tempting for me when I am borrowing Cate's car for a few weeks.

I think that about covers it. I don't want to say stuff I won't actually do. And by blogging it, it's pretty much like writing it in stone. I can't go back now! There should be a lesser category though because I do want to collect more warm clothes so that I can bike more days of the year. Unfortunately, this requires money and/or tougher ovaries. I'm stilling working up the courage though! Don't lose faith! I also want to eat more locally and shop mainly at the co-op and global market. This also takes money and diligence, but I have more faith in this than in the winter biking. We shall see.

Birthday Bliss

2008-01-09T05:39:00.000-06:00

My dear friend Robyn sent this to me for my B-day:

Thanks Robyn! I love it! Especially since I just watched that movie a few times last week. I am also usually not a big Zach G fan, but a huge Maria B fan so this is helping to broaden my comedic horizons.

Last night was very fun ladies, very fun. Except I never want to do another shot EVER again. One was completely way too many. I got smashed over a shot of tequila (typing that hurts almost as much as it did to drink it) and a very delish margarita. My stomach is not happy. This lead me to fall asleep at a wee hour of 9:30! I know, I know, what a rock star. However I now know what it is like to be my grandpa. I woke up at 4am! I am completely awake. WTF? This is not a good lifestyle. There is nothing to do at 4am. I am so bored.

OMG!!! New MB!!!

2008-01-03T14:39:00.000-06:00

OB! BO! BM! AH!

sweet sweet mel

2008-01-02T12:59:00.000-06:00

Yeppers, I found Mel's blog. Her awesomely fantastic video blog!
Mel, sometimes known as Kristen Schaal, also goes by the name of Penelope: Princess of Pets:

And just for fun, some All My Exes lesbian flair:

Nursing is taking over my soul

2007-12-31T14:39:00.000-06:00

Something has happened to me. I went to Rosedale and happened to walk in the entrance right next to a uniform store. I freaked out! What I once would have done with shoes or good fashion, I found myself doing over $9.99 scrubs. My heart went a flutter and I got giddy. Ooh they have that style in a flower pattern? Elastic waist bands? Matching jackets? I'm sold!

I'm scared. What happens when floral prints turn into teddy bear prints? Or worse - Americana/blue jeans/teddy bears/flags prints? There is actually a gross scrubs brand named Baby Phat. Its symbol is a skinny, (sexy?) kitten that is featured prominently on all pieces of clothing.

So here is a top ten list for my nursing friends. (Yes, my humor is also going down the toilet. What can I say?)

Top ten reasons to become a nurse:

1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

(OK the last one just isn't true on BMT. But whatevs.)

When was miming cool?

2007-12-26T16:20:00.000-06:00

oh yeah, in the 80's.

This holiday season...

2007-12-14T14:10:00.001-06:00

Let us think of the babies.

The marzipan babies.

Marzipan is a sweet paste made of ground almonds, sugar, and often times egg whites or yolks. (Am I right on this Cynthia?) It is used as a layer in cakes or molded into ornamental shapes such as these.

Let us be blessed and enjoy the talent given one person by God.

So my question is, are we supposed to eat the babies? Or do we hang them from our Christmas trees?

Oh but of course! We put them in little cracked egg shells! I should have known. Shame on me.

*brought to you by one of my forwarding-inclined, religious aunts.

being rude, with some food

2007-12-09T17:37:00.001-06:00

soooo, is it weird that I still check out the ex-bf's myspace page from time to time? I mean, I wouldn't call it stalking by any means. OK, maybe a little weird. But if I didn't, I would never have found this little golden nugget to share with you:

I cannot get this song out of my head.

And I love it.

sicksville

2007-12-03T10:28:00.000-06:00

I suck at life right now. I've been sick since last Tuesday and I see no signs of remittance. This only really bums me out because (a) I'd like to feel better and breath while I sleep and (b) I missed my last public health class of the year!!! I really didn't want to miss it either. There was a quiz today for one thing. But more importantly the focus was on human trafficking and the role of public health nurses in sex slavery. I wanted to be such a good and attentive learner today! Damn.

ps. Does anyone know of a drain-o of sorts that you can pour down your mouth? This is not normal phlegm we're dealing with here ladies.

I heart Dolly

2007-11-29T22:07:00.000-06:00

This is my new mantra, thanks to Cate:

ps. snb ladies, bff's, can we pu-pu-pu-please plan a road trip to Dollyville? It would be a perfect way to see our lovely Laurena as well! eh? eh?

oh yeah.

2007-11-29T21:22:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to put this up because, well, I like looking at it :) I feel that my gentle readership will also enjoy gazing into the sea and sun weathered integumentary system of this fine man.

(on a side note, I came across this picture when looking for Jack Nicholson pics - a little nugget of goodness)

The Pro's and Con's of my week.

2007-11-29T19:40:00.000-06:00

In no particular order, all jumbled together:

I made some delicious soup thereby utilizing the potats that were going south in the back of the fridge.

I met a high school secretary in Waconia that looked eerily like a grown-up Kimmy Gibbler. I bet if we saw a "Where are they now?" episode, they'd show her here, in the middle of midwest nowhere, flirting with the principal. They could maybe make a new show out of her real life, but John Stamos would never agree to a guest appearance.

my throat hurts.

I'm single.

While on the locked psych unit, I look up to see a patient walking towards me. I had to do a double take. And who do I see? Yup, I'm not even kidding. This man looks EXACTLY like Jack Nicholson. Except more mentally ill. Anisa can attest to it.
I failed to eat the last two morning glory muffins. I fail at life.
I only have a week and a day left of classes.
Holy shit I only have a week and a day left to finish 7 papers! ACK!
I got Cate a presssssennnnnnnnt, she doesn't know what it isssssssss!
:( I can't figure out how to make my list either single or double spaced. Why must it be both?! I think its all Jack's fault.

Make it smooth to the groove like sandwich bread.

2007-10-22T03:41:00.000-05:00

It was 1991. I was 11 and living in Honolulu. It was a time of awkward growth and secret crushes on surfers. Braces were my enemy. Sand and bugs pervaded any and all surfaces. My breasts had reached A cups, but aside from that, I still looked like an 8 year old. I found a love for running by making a habit of following the Ala Wai Canal from our apartment to the city library. But most importantly, this song defined my life:

A Paler Shade of Pee

2007-10-19T19:04:00.000-05:00

Weekend Fun Pee Pee Facts!

Did you know the normal bladder can hold 250-500mL of urine?
That is roughly 8-16oz.
Seems reasonable.

Hospital patients' bladders have been known to hold up to 1L of urine.
Damn them and their big bladders!

This is the kicker though, our fellow US citizens coming home from their tours in the Middle East have been found to have bladders that can hold 2L. Ahem, that is 2 f*#&ing liters man!

This is not something that is helpful. It causes problems with the bladders tonicity, which in turn causes it to stretch even more since it can't squeeze the pee out like it used to. These fellows are exactly the types of sorry saps that end up having to be catheterized for life. That is right, my friends, think pee bags velcro'd to legs.

Just a little something to chew on next time you buy that 2L of pop.

Do you know what you're eating?

2007-10-17T00:06:00.001-05:00

omg, omg.

In our social marketing section of my public health nursing class, we were dazzled by the creative likes of this:

And this:

http://www.themeatrix1.com/

(sorry, I can't repost this one - but Moopheus is a must see!)

And WTF?

I don't wanna go to the dentist!!!

2007-10-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

Don't make me do it!!! AHHH!!!
OK, I have never before been afraid of the dentist. I actually used to get excited about the dentist. As a kid, I really liked all the personal attention. Not to mention the delicious flavors of fluoride and toothpaste. Plus the toothbrush always tickled, so that was fun. Then there was the fascination of getting to look up hairy and not-so-hairy noses - endlessly entertaining.

So what gives?

Well, it is my new dentist. For one thing, he is old. VERY OLD. On my first visit to him a short 6 months ago, I couldn't help but wonder if he shouldn't have already retired. Honestly, he appeared to have one foot in the nursing home door. He was obese to the point where he had to walk very slowly. I would call it more of a limp-shuffle really. And when he finally arrived at a stool near my head, he was out of breath and wheezing.

This I could all very well deal with. Except his age and physical appearance are not the end of it. He also seemed to be from the old school mentality of health care professionals that treated their patients paternalistically. He knew what was best for me, he didn't expect me to understand, and he didn't think it was necessary to explain. It is hard not to find this kind of behavior annoying at best, insulting at worst. He was also the kind of person that would cut me off half way through a question and start rambling on, never addressing the question he didn't listen to.

The clincher though, was the flossing. Now as many of you may know, I am a religious flosser. I feel best at twice a day. I know I will sound like a nerd when I say this, but what those dental hygienists say is true: flossing can feel like a relaxing gum massage. mmmm.

But not with this guy! (Why did he insist on flossing me while his hygienist watched? Who knows.) He made my gums hurt like never before. I bled from between almost every tooth! He immediately claimed it was because I do not floss. Then he made a reference to that sorry excuse for a dental patient whose flossing lies are revealed by blood and pain. It was after this that he glanced at my chart and noticed I said I floss daily. I felt like I was on trial pleading my innocence. Since I insisted I floss, he left it at my not flossing hard enough. OW! Not hard enough? I have never had a complaint before from any dentist. Quite the opposite, they usually are praising my dental hygiene.

I left his office that day with a throbbing mouth. Quite frankly, I am afraid to go back. But what choice do I have? Now that my work doesn't give me health coverage I am lucky enough to qualify for MN Care. The only problem is this guy was the only dentist willing to (a) see me at all and (b) not make me wait 10 months for my first appointment. Damn. I miss my fancy bourgeois dentist.

the cate-copying, slog-reposting blog edition!

2007-10-08T01:31:00.000-05:00

I love tap dancing. Even more so since this I saw this.

why god, why?

2007-10-01T09:18:00.000-05:00

I don't remember the last bits of my evening. I don't remember how I got home. I don't remember hearing the zombie song! NOOOOOOO!!!!! In short, I hurt.

And in other news, here is some stuff I found WAY earlier and never posted:

On the topic of dementia:
There is growing evidence that aerobic exercise can delay (not prevent) dementia-specifically Alzheimer's disease. Four observational studies have shown a 30-40% reduction in Alzheimer's disease when people get regular exercise. It appears that aerobic exercise contributes to frontal, parietal, and temporal lobe tissue density which indicates less age related loss (Kirn, T., (July, 2007). Exercise may delay the onset of dementia, Caring for the Ages, p. 11).

go people, do.

BRAIINNNNSSSS

mmmmMaria!

2007-09-20T07:20:00.001-05:00

don't be a lazy louise, press play.

Muppet Mania!

2007-09-18T16:15:00.001-05:00

I recently found out that before Jim Henson did Sesame Street, he ran an advertising business that featured many of the muppets that became a huge part of my childhood. For example, big bird is a variation of a dragon used for La Choy, Cookie Monster was used for Frito-Lay, and Grover was used for IBM. Since they were being used for commercials though, the muppets took on a dark and twisted humor. Seeing these ad campaigns in my youth would have definitely given me nightmares.

Thanks to youtube, you can see what I mean:

In this first one, the actual commercials are at the very end of the clip.

La Choy:

RC Cola:

Pak-nit, did you actually sell anything from this ad?

mmm, meaty:

phone dangers:

oh you southerners. always trying to be separate

Can you imagine actually watching this stuff on TV? Ads today seem to have lost that "We're-all-on-drugs" feel.

In summary, the 60's were weird man. real weird.

mental melissa

2007-09-18T15:59:00.000-05:00

Hello gentle readers.

Now that I am in my psych rotation, I feel like I am seeing signs of psychological issues everywhere.

For example, I met a woman in her late 30's on the bus yesterday. She happens to be a cutter. Or at least she used to. The cuts that ran up and down her forearms seemed to have scarred over long ago. At some point, she had gotten a tattoo that partially covered a few of them. I wonder if she made the other cuts before or after the tattoo. As soon as I sat down she asked me if my eyes were really that green. I said yes. She said they were very noticeable. I said thank you. It was then that I noticed her companion, a man who's face was covered in big pink bumps/moles/???, because he scoffed at her for talking to me. She retorted by threatening to turn him into the grim reaper for Halloween. Then they got off the bus. huh?

Last Friday a fellow nursing student in my gero rotation (read "hanging out in an old folks home") had someone accidentally spill urine all over her pants, socks, and shoes. It happened in the morning and she didn't tell anyone til the afternoon after the urine had dried on her pants. She did say, however, that her socks were still squishy. Squishy with some old person's urine. (EW EW EW!) Then she asked us in hushed tones if the fact that she was grossed out made her a bad nurse. WTF? I'd be more inclined to make the assumption that it makes her a gross weirdo (that's a clinical term, mind you) to work in urine for 9 hours.
That's right. 9 whole hours. 9 hours of walking around with someone else's urine squishing between her toes.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Maria Bamford:

2007-09-09T14:01:00.000-05:00

Bombs over WDH

2007-09-07T16:07:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I attend the U of M, school of nursing. We are housed in the ugly Weaver-Densford Hall. Today, for some silly reason, WDH had a bomb threat. People were evacuated, the building and surrounding medical complex went on lockdown, mothers became frantic. Luckily though, no one was hurt, and I did not have to have class canceled. THANK GOD. This is not because we are so hell bent on learning, but more for the reason that I was at my clinical site today at the Augustana old folks home. This semester, I get to work with a woman who has paranoid schizophrenia. More stories to come for sure.

In other news:
Otis Redding! Your b-day could have been in two days had you not died in 1967.

You were one fine looking man. Anyone fortunate enough to listen to Lolly today on the sugar shop got an ear full of sweet soul music by the one and only.
Some opulent Otis facts:
- born 9/9/41. died 12/10/67. but you already knew that you sophisticated reader you.
- as a baptist choir singer, Otis wowed his community by winning a local Macon, Georgia talent show for 15 weeks in a row.
- SNL's Blues Brothers used his "I Can't Turn You Loose" as their entrance theme.
- Otis died in a plane crash into Lake Monona in Madison, Wisconsin with 6 others. Otis was 26 at the time. This just further reminds me of how old and close to death I am.

the quickest of quick blogs

2007-07-13T14:08:00.000-05:00

today we went with our new found hostel friends to the Plzen Brewery tour. It was a bitchy Canadian girl - super annoying, a Norwegian guy, and Hannah and Simon from England - thez are brother and sister, but we thought thez were dating. woops. We got to taste beer made from the old brewing techniques of wooden barrels. it was tastez.

Then we went to a crayz bar called, the pub, dun dun dunnnnnnn. And it had tables that each had a keg with 3 taps and we races with the other tables on a screen on the wall as to who could drink the most. It was funnz because as the computer tallied the beers we drank, the check marks became more and more scribblz. Whz is there a pretzel next to me question mark. that is odd.

Then cho and I went to what we thought would be an outdoor jazz club. it was actuallz full of 14 year olds drinking to ska punk music. I felt old. Thez were sooooo 1994. ha.

the end.

Brief highlights from the past few days

2007-07-12T08:55:00.001-05:00

- It was so windy in Dresden that I saw a tiny little bird trying to glide into the wind who actually just stayed perfectly still in midair for about 2 minutes.

- We took a boat from Dresden to Bad Schandau on our way to Prague. It was a gorgeous view, but ended up taking 7 hours instead of 3. Nichole and I were the only people on board under 70. That being said, I was the hit of the boat since I used the 7 hours to get a good chunk of cross stitching done. Many, many old people, speaking only German, attempted to tell me how great they thought my project was. It was very cute. SnB girls, I may just finish this beast before I see you next!

- Well, Bad Schandau was definitely bad. After crossing the river to the run down, deserted side and after waiting for an hour for the next train to Prague, that damn Czech train was late and wouldn't stop for us! CRAP! So we had to wait an extra 2 hours in the middle of nowhere in what looked like a condemned train station. So of course we sang songs such as "keep on the sunny side of life" and "accentuate the positive."

- In Prague we stumbled upon a lesbian bar while out drinking with our new Scottish girlfriends. Cho was the only one who did not catch on. She figured it out pretty quickly though once the 50 year old woman she was dancing with started dry humping her thigh. ha ha.

OK, cho is getting very antsy. We must go find food.
I will see you all in 2 weeks!!!

CHO is writing holy crap

2007-07-05T10:07:00.000-05:00

Hello all- this is cho. it is officially my first blog ever! What the hell is mo doing go me. i even have a myspace page now, not that i'll ever check it every day like mo, but holy shit, she turning me into a new age computer freak - save me!!!! so anyways on with the blog... it is storming very loud right now, thank god it waited for us to get inside our hostel. we are currently in Dresden, Germany. Mo and I have spent the entire day being hung over, we celebrated 4th of july by eating crappy mexican food with pitchers of bananna margaritas. These margaritas tasted like runts, you know the banana version. Mo and I discussed the phenomena that the banana runt was our least favorite runt... it was the one we always gave away to other people, but amazingly it tastes wonderful in liquid alcohol form.

Apparently this is a salad: doesnt it look a lil brown to you?

After the mexican bar, we proceeded to go to the indian bar where i drank two beers and mo had one. they will be having a interpretive art show there tonight that we may or may not go to. this was a cute and relaxing bar with grass celings and nice bartenders, after this bar we ventured off to Labowski's which is just as it sounds, a bar themed after the movie The Big Labowski. Here they play the movie on repeat all night, its kinda nice because you can judge how long youve been at the bar by how many times you watch the movie. we were there for about a moive and a half. mo drank tequilla sunrises and i stuck with the usual whiskey diet cokes (or should i say coke lights). We got very shit faced and apparently i spoke spanish to three itailian dudes for a half hour (who spoke fine english, i guess i just felt like speaking spanish). I guess they also drew us a map to some city they wanted us to go to becasue they are in a funky dance band and they have a concert tonight.. here is there web site if you want to check them out... 4axidbutchers.com who knows... we finished off the night by walking home and scarfing down crossants we bought from the only open bakery in town.

So needless to say we have spent the day pooping gasoline, eating bread, and napping. we finally got our lazy asses up around 3 and went to this adorable eating place called the hot spoon. here we had delicious soup and even more delicious rice pudding with cherries and cinnamon. mo and i want to open a place like it in minnesota. every thing is made out of spoons, even the tables. here are some pics.

Ok well sorry to cut things short but i have only a few minutes left before this computer kicks me. so did i do good in this blog thing. let me know, if you hate it i promise i will never try again

Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys

2007-07-03T15:56:00.000-05:00

Hez all.

I should start off bz sazing that the y's and z's are switched on German kezboards and I cannot be bothered with fixing them everztime I tzpe it wrong. I apologiye for zour inconvenience.

So Cho and I went to Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp todaz. Wow that sucked. It is funnz because when I was PMSing a few weeks ago, we watched Lilja 4-Ever (about sex trafficking), went to an emergencz rape clinic, and a half-waz house for prostitutes. I wanted to barf on everz man I saw after that. I definitelz cried mzself to sleep a few times. Now Cho is PMSing and what do we do? Spend the daz checking out gas chambers and learning about sick torture methods and perverted human experiments. Needless to saz we are a little somber right now. The weird part for me was that I felt so emptz while walking around the camp. I totallz expected to feel some deep sorrow or something while I walked in rooms that have once housed who knows how manz thousands of dead victims. But I felt nothing. I mean, I did tear up when I read an account of how a dad tried to hide from his 9 zear old son the fact that he was chosen to die that daz. But for the most part I was eerilz vacant. Whz? I am not sure zet. Mazbe because this is not how these people wish to remember their lives? Mazbe because the methods of genocide were so calloused, so inhumane? I do not think I will sleep well tonight.

OK, how the hell do I switch subjects without feeling like a total asshole? There were basicallz two things I wanted to blog about - the concentration camp and the kick ass yombie movie I saw before leaving Copenhagen. Mazbe I should have started with the yombie movie...

Anzhoo, to be completelz tackz, the first guz I saw after arriving in Berlin was this dude with a balding mohawk. Let me tell zou, probablz the worst choice of hairstzles for a man with thinning to no hair on the top of his head. zikes.

And finallz, the best yombie movie I have EVER seen...that is right, it tops Shaun of the Dead AND 28 dazs later...Braindead!!! Oh holz crap I have never been so gitterz and grossed out and happz all at once! Please, please go out and see this movie if zou have not alreadz. Although I hear it maz be titled dead or alive in the US (via Brian, Cho's bf). But it is bz the dude that also did Meet the Feebles and the Lord of the Rings trilogz. Verz cool.

OK, I am about to get kicked off this computer! So long, farewell, al viter saz goodbze! (oh god I am sorrz for the misspellings)

love zou all!

mo

midnight trains and tent cities

2007-06-27T09:49:00.001-05:00

Howdy folks, if you are interested, here is our plan for the next three weeks:

We travel to Berlin on Saturday, 6/30, via a train that boards a ferry. This sounds impossible to me.

7/1 - 7/3: BERLIN!

7/4: Travel to Dresden

7/5 - 7/6: DRESDEN!

7/7: Travel to Prague

7/8 - 7/11: PRAGUE!

7/12: Travel to Plzen

7/13 - 7/14: PLZEN!

7/15: Travel to Munich where we will be staying in The Tent hostel - good hippie fun (with their own website...)

7/16 - 7/17: MUNICH!

7/18: Travel by night train to Cologne - ooooh, sleeper cars

7/19 - 7/21: COLOGNE!

7/22: Travel to Amsterdam where we will be staying at the Lucky Lake Hostel - good cabin-on-a-lake fun super close to the city!

7/23 - 7/25: AMSTERDAM!

Goodbye Christiania

Goodbye Danish friends

Goodbye Delicious Thai Restaurant

We live here!

2007-06-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

Burning the Bush!

2007-06-26T13:57:00.000-05:00

hello friends, gentle readers, aloof scanners,

Last Saturday was super fun! It was the celebration called Mid-Summer's Eve. Not quite on the solstice, but as close as you can get and still have it on a weekend. The deal is the sun doesn't set this eve, or it does, but it doesn't really get dark at all. You can see a little ray of sun on the horizon throughout the night and it feels like dusk or dawn for most of the night hours. Everyone in Denmark lights bonfires, stays up all night long, and burns effigies. Usually these effigies are of witches to represent (gasp) evil being burned away. Didn't Denmark get the memo that witch burning isn't pc anymore?

The kollegium that Nichole and I stay at had a party for the whole building that night with a free bar for all (9 stories + 14 rooms per floor = a whole lot of drunk kids). My floor also had a group dinner that night. Kristine offered to make us all dinner. This was absolutely fabulous because she is going to school to be a chef. She made yummy salmon, potatoes, and 7 different kinds of delish salads. mmmmm... jicama salad...

During a phone call with the bf the night before, I got the idea that we should make our own effigy - of Mr. President Bush, of course! The kids on my floor loved the idea. They got really into it and found newspaper pictures of Tony Blair and Anders Fogh Rasmussen (Denmark's Minister of State) which they placed in not so pious positions around Bush's (ahem) pelvis. Here are some pictures.

Please come visit us if, by chance, we get ousted like Yusuf Islam for such treasonous actions as the ones depicted above. We will probably be hiding out somewhere in the Dominican Republic.

Cheers!

On a brighter note:

2007-06-25T15:43:00.000-05:00

I really really really want to live here:

How great are those geometrically shaped houses? I would like the one with the patio for the roof, thanks. I think it is the one that is half cut off from the picture. Racho, you can have the star shaped one. Can anyone make this happen in MN? I will love you forever!

The Americans are Going Down

2007-06-25T15:00:00.000-05:00

This is my pouring one out for my homies, or whatev.
Here is a short list of the many ailments/tragedies recently suffered by the 17 US nursing students:
1. mysterious lump in armpit.
2. mysterious lump in armpit gets gutted by Danish docs, now armpit has an abscess.
3. mysterious lump in armpit returns, but bigger, more red, and more painful.
4. +3 pitting edema in both legs from the calf down. (see example below)

5. an abscess on a girl's stomach. how???
6. a recent ex-boyfriend died yesterday.
7. a supposed bug bite turns into a full body rash. ew.
8. my bug bites have not exploded, thank jebus.
9. tunneling abscesses underneath a girl's breasts. ew. ew. ew.
10. tunneling abscess girl also has some sort of eczema all over her skin that needs constant lotioning.
11. tunneling abscess girl also has a husband with crohn's disease. they are trying to have kids.
12. a childhood friend died last week.
13. two of the girls were mugged and assaulted saturday night. fuck.
14. a UTI infection resulting in blood for urine and terrible, terrible pain.

I feel kind of bad that my weekend was so kick ass. sheesh. maybe I won't feel guilty later and then I'll blog about that.

The week of long lasting souvenirs

2007-06-16T05:06:00.000-05:00

Hi friends,

it has been a while since I have last blogged. It is hard to get me to stay in a computer lab for any extended period of time. Today it is rainy and cold and I have to type up a couple of papers so clearly I should blog first.

Last weekend we had some extremely great and unusual weather for Denmark. It was sunny and in the 90's. No one has AC here so I think everyone and their sister came to the beach. Cho and I have a brand new beach that is a ten minute walk from our place on Ama. (They call it Ama, but if you are looking on a map it is Amager.) It is absolutely beautiful. There are a bunch of windmills sticking out of the water to the north of the beach and across the Oresund straight (connecting the Baltic Sea to the Atlantic Ocean via Kattegat, Skagerrak, and the North Sea) you can see the coast of Sweden.

The cool thing about beaching in Denmark is their casual attitude towards nudity. You can be topless if you want. Not everyone does it, but no one will care if you do. I saw a mom handing out snacks to a bunch of little 5 to 10 year olds. She was only wearing a pair of jean shorts. So Cho and I decided that one of our souvenirs would be to have tanned ta tas. Unfortunately, the nice sunny weather has not lasted and, at least as of right now, I am not sure if I will ever see the sun again while on this continent.

In other news about the beach, it is one of the places Cho and I run to. I like doing this best around 10pm because the sunsets are gorgeous. We also run through Christiania and around a couple of lakes close to our kollegium (aka kick ass dorm). PS - I have decided to join Cho and her mom in training for a 1/2 marathon that will take place somewhere in the Midwest, sometime in October. We had been running everyday until...(drum roll please) we got our tattoos! We took a couple of days off for our ankles to heal. Between that and the chilly downpours, our daily runs have sort of petered out.

Here are some awesome pics of our tattoo adventure:
Ouch!

Yawn and us at the bar post tattooing:

Mo's foot:

Cho's foot:

ooh, and as you can see, we also were able to get our sticky little fingers on a few cute nursing uniforms. (I know you cannot see me, but believe me I am pumping my fists of triumph in the air as you read this.)

Our tattoo artist was pretty cool. I forgot how to spell his name, but it is pronounced Yawn. Maybe it was Jan? Unfortunately, he developed an annoyingly persistent crush on me, but that can be for another blog. What is funny about him is that he is the apprentice to this other dude named Alex who apparently is the best portrait artist in all of Europe. (He has many awards and would not shut his abnormally large pie hole about it ALL night long.)

Well Alex had tattooed a ginormous picture of Ozzy Ozborne's face on the front of Yawn's thigh. And at last week's tattoo convention in Amsterdam, he did an equally large portrait of some character from some cult classic horror movie on the back of the same thigh. That won him first place. But Ozzy came to Copenhagen this week and signed Yawn's thigh right under his face and then Alex tattooed the signature on national television.

ooooh. whatev.

Here is a funny new poop joke that some other tattoo artist told me while we were all having drinks together later that night:
"What did the cowboy with poop on his beard say?
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places..."
ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Interestingly, the guy that told me this joke is also getting a portrait done from Alex. Only, he is getting a gigantic picture of him holding his newborn son that covers the entire length of his torso from pit to hip. The only thing is, he is going to be portrayed as the devil who is tattooing his newborn son's face. WTF? And he said our tattoo's were weird.

Anyhoo, I have one paper down and one to go. They are both due before we head off to Sweden tomorrow morning at the butt crack of dawn. Well, really it will only be at 7:45am. Actually, after spending a few nights on the town, I have come to the conclusion that it does not get dark until about midnight and then it starts getting light out again around 3am.

I feel like an insomniac here.

oh yeah, by the by, Cho's official new nickname is farty. Holy crap she is a gas machine! I need a fan constantly blowing her away from me. (ps she approves of this message) It may have something to do with all the boozing we did last night - we ended our eve by having the girls in the bar booth next to us join us for some drinks.

Then we found out they were only 16/17 years old. They thought our tacky outfits (worn for a friend's themed b-day party earlier that eve) were very fashionable.

hmmm.

the end.

Un Mas Cosa!

2007-06-05T13:34:00.001-05:00

Por Julia!

This was mid-felting so it was not quite shrunken enough yet, but now it is pretty damn perfect...

yay I've got my pictures!

2007-06-05T13:14:00.000-05:00

Hey friends,

We just got back from our Western Denmark Tour. It was a lot of fun. But first:

I don't feel quite right in a turban. What I feel like is GLORIA FUCKING SWANSON! What am I, 70, David? Am I 70? Why don't you just put me in a walker? Buy a goddamn walker and put me in it!

I'm 42 yrs old, I don't want to be dressed like a dead woman

Also, here is me and my beautiful bike! YAY!

OK, I am super tired and we have laundry and homework to do.

But wait, this was too funny. It is Cho's journal of a tipsy night...

Is that readable? I do not know.
There is much to tell, but it will have to be another day.

love you all!
mo

DENMARK!!!!!!

2007-06-01T15:37:00.001-05:00

Photobucket Album

Anderson! Anderson! Anderson!

2007-06-01T07:50:00.000-05:00

Hello my friends and gentle readership. I cannot post any stupid pictures since I do not have the right technology. Julia, that means you will have to wait to see the kick ass eye patch I made for Cho.

That also means that the hilarious silver turban I found at H&M, put on, and took pictures of will not be making an appearance here along with witty quotes from our very favorite Soap Dish. damn that woulda been good! PS, Cate, we MUST watch that many, many times upon my return.

I finally got my bike! OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN is it pretty! It is one of those super duper cute ones that stimulate correct posture and it has a black metal basket on the front and a black rack on the back and a cream colored frame. I am on top of the world!

Things I have noticed here:
1. they love spiral stair cases! In the brewery, in the old folks home, in double decker buses, EVERYWHERE!!!
2. Men of all stripes like wearing hanky scarves. I saw a little boy today with a skull one around his neck. He was probably 6 or 7. I wanted to steal him. I have also seen them on hipsters, gay men, and punk rockers.
3. Aside from the stupid Radison hotel, my kolligium (aka sweet ass dorm) is the tallest building in all of Copenhagen. That means that even though I am on an island outside of the Copenhagen city, I can see all the cool steeples and spires and such. And since I am facing west, I get some kick ass sunsets.
4. Danes will eat less if things are not hygge, and more if things are hygge. This is pronounced hoogly. It means close, friendly, intimate, comfy. For example, a hygge dinner is one that lasts 5 hours long, is eaten between family and close friends, and is in a warm and darkened atmosphere. The only thing is they like to do this every damn day. How do they get anything else done?!?
5. "I feel the same way about disco that I do of herpes," Hunter S. Thompson. I see this quote EVERYWHERE around the city. I do not understand.

Tomorrow we are going to a pub to watch the Swedes versus the Danes in futbol and then we are going to "Distortion" which is an outdoor, free music festival to raise awareness about homelessness. As a part of distortion, large artistic po-mo pieces of garbage have been erected all around the city. For example, in the town square, there is a gigantic banana peel standing straight up (probably 15 feet tall), a huge-normous (proportionate to the banana peel) pizza box with the lid bent up, and a crushed pop can. weird. I like it.

On Sunday we go on our Western Denmark tour. We will see a nursing museum, a sclerosis place, and some other stuff I forgot...

OK, I must bike NOW!!!

love you all!
mo

macy gray = queen of soul?

2007-05-26T18:04:00.001-05:00

indgang= entrance
udgang= exit.

vin = wine as always.

so tonight we got drunk with a greek, a philian, and am australian. And then we got some more wine nd tehm some more!" woot woot!!!

here is cho - ok nevermidn, cho has lost her phone. he is going mad. we went to a stupid Karnival today that was suååpsed to be all brazillian an d african but it wa sa bunch of white girls doing african dacnes (all blondes) and hten some danich verison of samba = super weirdo!

OK, typing a little bi ts drunk ishard so LAURENA- do swans come from Denmark? Do Mallards come from the midwest?

These are teh questions that I have.

I love you all and must now go to sleep.

much love, momo

mwua

shopping shlopping

2007-05-23T20:51:00.000-05:00

Am I not the fashion whore I once thought?

We saw an H&M, and you know, it was the same old same old crap just on a much larger scale. Actually, we got lost in the store. There were not really different levels but it was more like a split level home with 7 different half floors. Anyhoo, I was not awed as I thought I would be.

whatev.

not only do

2007-05-23T12:37:00.000-05:00

Also, this computer is super weird. All the buttons
are different. Such as there is no @, you have to do a
series of alt plus other crap. Also, everything is
rearranged so

Cho and computer glitch in Copenhagen made the whole system
fail and we had to do everything by paper. While in
line be
Well it turns out her and of other us! Well after all the lines Cho and a few drinks before the flight. The whole
Delaney-Brunicks crew decided to sit right next to us.
As table, Delaney wished us a safe trip.
radius from our hostel is either a strip club, dildo
store, gay sex shop, or tattoo parlor. how to pick em, huh?

We walked around a ton today. We are dead tired. We
had fabulous thai food for dinner at a reasonable
price. And weøre trying as hard as we can not to go to
bed at 7<15pm.

much love!

Fart noises are funny.

2007-05-22T09:12:00.000-05:00
I dreamt last night that I was blatantly picking my nose in public. Everyone was staring at me. They gave me looks that said, "how rude," and "you are disgusting," and "shame!" Then I farted really loud which made even the people who didn't notice my nose picking look up in shock. I woke up to the sound of myself laughing in my sleep.

That was around 4am. I've been up ever since. It is funny the things you do to keep occupied at 4am. I found myself watching hours of saved by the bell. 15 years or so gives a lot of extra perspective. I also found another slip of paper from a girl trip up to the cabin. Here is what it said:

Down to Jackson

See if I care

How do you know so much about kegs? Half Barrel Pony keg.

I'm just writing notes man.

Cate said "inventioned"

Rachel was Billy Corgan

But who was Cate? Green Bay.

Racho Pacho went to the zoo
Racho Pacho contracted the flu
She puked and she uked
Til the food was reduked
Then she played with the seals in blue

Lauren E Winter
Asks if she can just say that
She really loves us

Doobie Bros
Jeff Buckley
Rufus Rainwright

Remnants of a CFT* Past...

2007-05-17T13:15:00.000-05:00
Rachel feels the burning.
Her skin is extremely white.
Please use sunscreen.

Melissa is burned.
On her cute little ass cheek.
Red, and angry butt.

Katie G. Nelson.
The Murky waters have claimed
Your top. Boobs are free!

There once was a hot nurse named Mo.
The most popular girl on the flo'
And when she walks past
Patients look at her ass
And wish they didn't have cancer no mo'

*Cabin Fun Time
**yes, yes, we were probably drunk.

Ja, dank u moet ik pissen.

2007-05-10T15:45:00.000-05:00
I know I should be studying, but I can't help checking out Copenhagen stuff. Here are a few places I'm going to drag Nichole to as soon as we get there:
Christiania: (aka Fristaden, Freetown) A small, independent, socialist community inside of Copenhagen. It was established in 1971 in abandoned military barracks as a protest against the Danish government. Their mission statement: "The objective of Christiania is to create a self-governing society whereby each and every individual holds themselves responsible over the wellbeing of the entire community. Our society is to be economically self-sustaining and, as such, our aspiration is to be steadfast in our conviction that psychological and physical destitution can be averted." Could you imagine this happening in New York City, or Los Angeles? They'd be run down by riot police in a matter of a day. Cool things about Christiania: Cars are not allowed. Yoga and meditation are super popular. Cop cars are kept out by large rocks blocking all road entrances. They forbid stealing, guns, bulletproof vests, and hard drugs. Cameras are also not allowed on their main street, Pusher St. To enter, you have to walk through "The Arc of Peace." It would be cool if we could hostel there.
Museum Erotica: The first serious erotic museum in the world. It was established 25 yrs after porn was released in Denmark in 1969. It self proclaims to "illustrate some of the sex life of Homo Sapiens" in chronological order from ancient times to present. Apparently the final display is of a small room with a couch opposite a large wall of small TVs each playing a different porno video. Ha ha.
H&M: I know, I know, I'm a fashion whore. But they originate in Sweden and apparently are way different than our shops.
Botanisk Have: 62 acres of amazing gardens that include palm, orchid, and cacti houses. oooh.
Tivoli Gardens: In the middle of the city, this place apparently has 110,000 lamps. Why is that interesting? I do not know. But they also have gardens, roller coasters, theater, and fireworks. ooooooh.

Today I feel like this:

2007-05-09T10:16:00.000-05:00
Does this mean I'm officially an adult?

I saw Leonardo DiCaprio on TV the other day and quietly recognized the forgotten death of my junior high crush.PS. I am really grossed out by seeing him now, still somehow looking like a teenager, yet with pubey facial hair. ew.
Now a scrawny, pastey, brilliantly funny 40- (gulp, 50?) something year old causes my ovaries to quiver. Yes, yes, I'm speaking of Jon Stuart.

Moving in with my ma for the summer no longer feels like an exciting time to mooch food and cable. Instead, it makes me feel like this guy:

While studying for finals at the campus library, I noticed that all the other students look a good ten years younger than me. oh wait, they are! AH!

But hopefully, in a few 40 years or so, my boyfriend will look like this:

I believe in celery. It protects against rectal cancer.

2007-05-07T16:27:00.000-05:00
You know how when people talk about colorectal doctors and they say, "Wow, wonder what made them choose that profession!"
Well, I used to say that. But then I started thinking. About butts. And poop. And how many really great stories I have regarding these two topics. And lets face it, I'm definitely an ass girl. Not that I want to go into colorectal nursing or anything, but I wouldn't mind it.

and now for something completely different.

2007-05-06T23:24:00.000-05:00

My life trivialized, boiled down if you will, into lego form.

Me now:

And, if I survive the next few weeks, me in Copenhagen:
You might notice that while I have lost all my hair and picked up a trendy, Euro (but deadly, kids, very deadly) smoking habit, I am still sucking down the caffeine - but in the sexiest of sexy (state issued) nursing uniforms. Ba-blam baby!
(How 'bout those old style cobblestone streets, y'all? Those crazy europeans. What will they think of next?)

Vancant

2007-05-06T23:22:00.000-05:00

she looks like she's up to something. full of something. weirdo.

my demise

2007-05-06T22:39:00.000-05:00
first came the lists. so many lists were made. finding them now, half scratched out, remembering things I had forgotten to do that didn't matter anymore. most of the lists had at least 5 or 6 repeating items on them. big things that just kept getting pushed over to the next week, the next month. how old am I again? is it worth it?

then came the stress. I no longer needed to write the lists down anymore. a constant scroll rolled past my brain below my eyes like terrible stock market updates. what was I forgetting now? which figment was trading up? which needed more research, more time, more effort? they don't even exist except for in our imaginations. they weigh so much on my soul. they pervade my dreams. they are in my blind spots. they're waiting.

Trivial thoughts. I am but one woman. only so many hours in a day. everything will be OK. it will all work out in the end. stop over-analyzing things.

and now there are headaches. I can't escape them while awake, popped way too many generic pain killers to count. then the itching. everywhere. little bumps. red irritated skin. oh and don't forget the nausea. skin crawling. teeth grinding. am I loosing my mind?

"breathe," she told me. "from your diaphragm." thank you. I'm breathing. I'm focusing. until now i didn't realize the panic was all about a lack. not enough air. you are on the other side of the planet. you are existing on a different day, a different time. you told me exactly what I needed to hear.

PICU HAIKU PART TWO

2007-04-07T16:50:00.000-05:00
I like when you sleep.
Yellow Jaundice eyelids hide.
Yellow jaundice eyes.

(An example of a man with jaundice eyes - for your visual pleasure)

PICU HAIKU

2007-04-07T16:47:00.000-05:00
Intensive care kid,
Extubate yourself! Freedom!
Good thing you can breathe.

"The Brief Love Affair Between My BFF and My BF," a pictoral essay by Melissa Herda-McKee

2007-03-23T16:53:00.000-05:00
In hindsight, RayRay gave me early signs that she would be trying to take my man later that evening:Aw, the star glazed look of first love (WTF bitches?):
Drunken flirtations (thanks guys. right in front of my f-ing face. thanks):
Was something said? What went wrong? Did drunken lips speak slanderous words? What lead to this bitter end?And they're done. But not without whiskey soaked memories:
And of course, how could we forget, the post-breakup hook-up (Jason, you look so smug you dirty ménage à trois bastard):
As the BF would say, teh end:

A fairwell hiaku to my pediatric clinical. you will not be missed

2007-03-19T19:45:00.000-05:00
Pee leaks in belly.
Stomach gets larger and larger.
Sad face, not happy.